Life lessons for students that should be taught

Education today is much different than when I graduated in 1965. We didn't have stringent curriculum mandates, multiple course requirements or Advanced Placement (AP) classes. We were pretty much structured into three groups: those who were motivated financially or academically to go to college, those going into the local manufacturing companies or businesses, and those who were going to make it on their own. The divisions were pretty clear even with the military draft looming over us. Those going to college were able to get a college deferment while the rest of us were pretty much guaranteed that a "tour of duty" to our country stood between graduation and our "career's" where ever or what ever that would be.

During this simpler time, we didn't concern ourselves with our ethnic backgrounds. We were all Americans. Didn't understand that there would ever be a dash between someones ethnic background and American. Those students who were black, were still Americans. Those from Asian decent were still Americans. We recited the pledge of allegiance to our flag and didn't worry about someone being forced to say "under God".

We didn't have organizations, clubs or groups based on blood, ethnic or racial backgrounds. We learned to read, write and speak English as "the only language", except for those going to college...they had to take Latin. Never heard one word in Latin ever used in a conversation. Even those with Spanish backgrounds spoke fluent English.

But today it is a much different school. We are so afraid of hurting a students self-esteem, ethnic background and identity. We want every student to succeed regardless of the effort they put forth. We do everything possible to pass a student to the next grade so they can be with their "class" and not feel like a failure. Although we do have dress codes, they are much less stringent than ever before because we still want a student to be able to "express themselves" with their individuality. Today, we believe every child must go to college and become a productive citizen to society. As a result we either lower our standards to the lowest common denominator while, at the same time fail to challenge those students who excel in the classroom. In the end, we do no good to anyone.

We make every effort to educate students to the evils of tobacco, alcohol, sex and global warming. We try to teach the importance of being politically correct so as not to draw attention to the reality of life in the real world. We no longer accept the responsibility of having an opinion and putting your name to it. To be able to take a stand without taking the responsibility for it is the norm today for people. Any accident or misfortune becomes the fault of someone else. If we are late for school, it's because Mom didn't wake me. When you become a teenager, there are certain things that you need to be responsible for. In a nutshell, we end up "dumbing down our kids" and creating a generation of irresponsible young people in the work place and in life.

At the age of 64 and spending many years in "life", I am going to give you some advice. You may or may not like what I am telling you, but these are the realities of life after school. I don't expect you to agree with me because you haven't been there yet. But if for no other reason than to humor me, take a moment and read the following and keep these in the back of your mind.

(1). In the real world life is not fair. There will always be favoritism, nepotism, and people who want to take advantage of you and your good nature. Be ready for it, understand it and get used to the fact that life is not fair.

(2). Your boss will be tougher than any teacher you have or will ever have. He or she will not care about your self-esteem. Unlike your teachers, your boss does not have tenure to secure their job. They keep their jobs based on results of those who work for them. They demand results, not excuses. If you can't perform, they will not give you a "C" or a "D-"; you will get an "F" and a chance to go to some other employer and look for work.

(3). In the real world, life has winners and losers. Unlike school that give you many chances to advance so that everyone is a winner, in life you will not always win. In school we pass students so as not to hurt their feelings. We allow multiple Valedictorians because we don't want to create a "winner take all" situation which will challenge our top students. Your school may do away with winners and losers....but life hasn't. Your boss in the real world may not care about your self-esteem....they care about your performance. People will expect you to accomplish something before you can feel good about you. So when your inflated ego meets reality, don't go yelling that "life isn't fair". (see #1)

(4). Unlike school, life isn't divided into terms, classes or extra credit. You will probably not get summers off unless you become a teacher....then you will be required to go to school, get a job or pick up additional teaching hours to help pay your bills. In business, you will be expected to be at work every day for a minimum of 8 hours, and arrive on time ready to perform your job. You won't get a new lease on life in the next semester. The job goes on and on every day. No Easter or Christmas vacation to unwind after tests.

(5) Sorry to tell you that you will probably not make $50,000 a year right out of high school. You probably won't become a Vice President or have your own personal secretary. You may have to wear a uniform that doesn't have GAP or IZOD on the label. Remember that "flipping burgers" should not be below your dignity. Your grandparents had a different word for burger flipping type jobs.... They called it an opportunity. They were not afraid to work for minimum wage. They would have been embarrassed to sit around all day talking about American Idol, Survivor, reading People magazine or socializing on facebook.

(6). In life, if you screw up, it's not your parents fault, or where you came from, or any other lame excuse. It will be your responsibility. When you turn 18, you will be responsible for your actions, it'll be on your nickel.

(7). In life, problems are not solved in 30 minutes, including commercials. What you see happen on TV is not the real world. People actually leave the coffee shop or diner and go to work. Serious problems will not be resolved like CSI by beautiful women or handsome young men. They will be resolved by those who you choose to help you. Generally, that will be your boss or fellow workers...and they are not a perky as Jennifer Aniston.

(8). Purple hair, earrings (except for women, and then only one in each ear), tattoos, smoking, chewing, pants around the bottom of your butt and other "fads" make you look stupid. They may look cool to you and heighten your self-esteem. To your boss you are not cool. You look stupid. If your employer deals directly with the public, your employer will not share your "coolness". In fact, regardless of your qualifications, you probably will not go to work for them. Their customers have certain quirky feelings about purple hair, earrings in men's ears, nose, eyes, and other locations, smoking or chewing on the job, and customers really don't want to see your underwear. Dread the thought of being uncool! Please understand that it is the customer, not the company, who pays your salary. If the customer doesn't return because of you, then you may not get any pay. But then again, you probably won't be hired by many businesses looking "cool" or "just expressing my individuality". Your boss doesn't care about your individuality...they care about your performance and profit.

(9). Always be nice to those who may not be "cool" or share your views or may not have been the BMOC (big man on campus). That nerd you teased in school may turn out to be your boss.

I just had a few thoughts to share. Some of these I learned for myself by experience, most my grandfather told me and the rest are just a matter of common sense, hygiene and personal pride. You see, life is not fair and the government will not make life better. Be a responsible American who stands up for what is right, knows what is going on in government, have personal pride in yourself, respect for others and be willing to accept criticism, learn from it and become a better productive citizen as a result. If you start your own business, there will be twice as many rules. Good luck, have fun. Life may not be fair, but life is enjoyable if you want it to be....considering the alternative.